the beggar

 

Therefore the neighbors, and those who previously saw him as a beggar, were saying, “Is that not the one who used to sit and beg?”

John 9:8

A distant memory ago, I was fortunate enough to visit a few Latin American countries and immerse myself in the land, culture, and people. Every moment of that experience imbedded into my soul like a footprint of awakening. The tastes, sounds, aromas and visuals experiences are captured, like a continual photograph, visually imbedded in my mind. The magnificence of the land(s), rich history, and stories of the diverse individuals and cultures reminder me that we are more similar as humans than not.

As I gratefully and happily lived in each moment of those experiences, I found myself not only taking in the wealth and beauty of my surroundings, but highly tuning into the sadness and suffering of those that appeared to be invisible in soceity. In the wealth, existed poverty. In the plentiful, existed scarcity. In the hope, existed hopelessness. In the happiness, existed sadness.

There are many images I captured that represented this. One in particular can not be forgotten. Imagine an outdoor cafe filled with patrons; beautiful, well-dressed individuals, sharing rich food and flavorful company – immersed in conversation and laughter with those surrounding them. On the side-walk existed a barrier to keep non-patrons, and perhaps those less desired, from partaking. Opposite the barrier; a poor-soul, lost in hopelessness and despair, barefoot with tattered hair, half dressed in filthy- clothes, and undergarments worn on top, begins to approach the barrier. For a moment, she stops and gazes in… her eyes connecting with a woman on the inside. The woman pauses her conversation and laughter… her full-telling expression exhibits quiet judgment. The lost soul, desperately moves along; ashamed and angered, and perhaps looking for something to dull her hunger or pain… or perhaps in search of hope, acceptance, love, fulfillment, or maybe even searching for something to bring a brief moment of happiness.

Despite my feelings of gratitude during the trip, in that moment, I could not help but to feel guilt overcome me. Why do I (and so many others) have blessings and/or opportunities to experiences life in such rich ways while others have so much less, and can only imagine what it would be like to partake in life, or in that picture-perfect cafe? I am certain we can debate this thought with many different theories, however, lets continue on…

As my feelings of grateful happiness tuned into the witnessed despair and sadness, experienced many times on that trip, I began to think about the pursuit of happiness within the human journey through life. A movie that depicts a character’s search for that happiness is narrated in the 2014 movie, Hector and the Search for Happiness. If you have not seen this film, it’s definitely a great watch!

So what is happiness, and where does it come from? Is it in achieving ones goals; living out ones passion, or being immersed in ones life purpose? Or is it in experiencing life in new ways with new adventures and different cultures, or does experiencing happiness exist within the comfort of comparison in our lives to others? Perhaps it is seeing true joy in the faces of those wrinkled in adversity? Or, is it in the moment you realize that the person looking back at you with a different phenotype, religion, race, belief and background is no different from you, and yearns for the same basic human needs as the person who looks back at you in the mirror everyday? 

Maybe happiness exists in the authenticity of ones true-self; when the mask to the world is removed, and we see a human, and examine ourselves against who we truly are as opposed to the standards and ideology that the world expects of us. 

Maybe happiness can be found in the quiet humbleness of oneself; to see the beggar on the street as no different than the beautiful strangers gathered in the picture-perfect cafe yearning for fulfillment and acceptance from those around them, from those they love, and from their places of employment… because they and we are beggars too – beggars in and of this life. 

We ask from God, or from the universe, the things we want and need. We ask for forgiveness and beg to be forgiven. At times, we work jobs that we can no longer tolerate, or worse, work for employers who do not see our value; yet, we stay and work… and beg for the paycheck – each week, each month, each year so that we can afford to beg in our homes and cars as opposed to begging on the street. We beg for money as the material possessions of this life beg for our attention. We beg for love, peace, health, happiness, belonging, prosperity, employment, and for all of our wishes and dreams to come true… because we are all the same humanity, differentiated by chance, or luck, or by that one altering-decision that defines our life to either beg on the street, or in that one picture-perfect cafe – which makes for a more acceptable beggar. 

Happiness can not exist within the division of humanity. Division is not defined by boarders, it is only defined within the heart. Humanity prevails, LOVE wins, and happiness begins when we, as a society, remove the boundaries in our hearts and minds. 

LOVE, with all my HEART,

Natalie 

About: the art was created based on my initial writing, a condensed version of this story, written back in 2018 during my travels to South America. The story remains very much relevant to present day.

The abstract painting is based on the picture I took, outside the cafe, capturing the event. My intention was to paint with colors that represent the seven-deadly sins. Color interpretations vary, but I selected, violet for pride, green for envy, red for wrath, light blue for sloth, yellow for greed, orange for gluttony, and blue for lust.

The humans in the picture-perfect cafe symbolize the imperfection of humanity, the sin or sins each carry, and the judgement projected onto another – despite what they themselves may carry. The defeated beggar hence takes on the weight of the projected judgements, perhaps inviting more sin and further deepening the division of humanity.